What a Hug Really Is
Safety, sensation, and the quiet intelligence of the heart.
When was the last time you truly sat down and contemplated the direction of your life?
Not in terms of productivity or achievement, but in the deeper sense — did it feel meaningful, rewarding, rich? Not in monetary terms, but in the richness of aliveness, beauty, and human connection?
This year, instead of staying in the UK through grey skies, lingering colds, and the familiar post-Christmas heaviness, I chose something different. I chose myself — not in a selfish way, but in a life-affirming one. I wanted to feel alive in my body and soul, so that whatever I offered to others came from joy, not depletion.
That choice brought me to North Goa — often called the California of India. A place someone once told me “answers all of your prayers.” I can now say, quietly and honestly, that he spoke the truth.
Here, life is lived in a deep yesness. From volunteering at the legendary Goa Sunsplash festival, to teaching weekly at a destitute home for girls, I found myself reflected in remarkable human beings who, despite their trauma and stories, shine unmistakably through dance, song, laughter, and presence.
Welcome to volunteering at the Goa Sunsplash 10-year anniversary — working on the merch and help-desk stall at the very heart of India’s reggae renaissance. From the moment I arrived, the vibes were infectious, the unity unwavering, and the future of reggae in India felt brighter than ever.
The culture of the festival — peace, love and unity — truly lived up to its name. It wasn’t just a slogan; it was embodied in every interaction, every smile, every helping hand. The music and the sound systems were incredible, pumping high vibrations across the Goan ocean and far beyond. Deep, uplifting reggae beats carried us through the days and nights, amplified by powerful performances that stirred something ancient and joyful in the body.
What stayed with me most, though, were the people. Meeting, hugging, and connecting with sincere, genuine human beings who deeply cared about one another’s safety, presence, and enjoyment was profoundly moving. I felt real team spirit — a shared sense of purpose and play — and it was pure fun meeting people from all around the world, united by rhythm, love, and open hearts.
Goa Sunsplash is India’s biggest celebration of reggae music, but it is also so much more than a festival. It is a living, breathing community, gathering on the sunny shores of Goa to dance, connect, and remember what togetherness feels like. It was an honour and a privilege to be part of it — to serve, to hug, to laugh, and to connect with so many like-minded souls through the shared joys of music, movement, and community.
Alongside the festival, volunteering at the destitute girls home touched me in a quieter, deeper way. Watching the radiant girls perform Bollywood and Goan dances — singing with such open hearts — moved me to tears. Sitting with them afterwards, answering their curious questions about life and education in the UK, I felt humbled beyond words. The nuns who care for them are doing extraordinary work: instilling confidence, dignity, and a sense of possibility, without denying the reality of what these girls have lived through.
I am deeply aware that trauma lives in the body. And yet, so does joy.
What struck me most was not denial of pain, but the permission to feel alive again. To move. To sing. To connect. To be held in community without explanation or performance.
Regardless of the system — school, home, institution, or festival — there is a shared human resonance that emerges when people are held in real community. Not as denial. Not as performance. But as movement, sound, laughter, sweat, and connection. When that resonance is felt, something ancient wakes up. The body remembers. And life, unapologetically, begins to dance again.
Real community is felt — not taught, not explained.
In Goa, generosity flows without transaction. Gratitude doesn’t need to be announced — it’s embedded in action. My scooter has been lifted from ditches more times than I can count. Compassionate locals rush to fix a stranded car without hesitation. Food is shared. Chai appears. Coconut cakes are offered. Families invite you to sit, to rest, to belong — not because you’ve earned it, but because you’re there.
This way of living — giving without expectation — is profoundly regulating to the nervous system. It reminds the body that safety can exist now, not only in the past or future.
And somewhere between all these moments, between countless simple, human hugs, a poem revealed itself.
Not about romance.
Not about politeness.
But about what the body knows.
What a Hug Really Is
Hugs remove distance and eye-narrative.
The mind steps back,
and the body speaks.
A felt knowing.
The body is a living instrument.
When close — heart to heart —
the instrument responds.
Vibration. Sensation.
Nothing going wrong —
just life moving without obstruction.
The body recognises truth
before the mind can organise a story.
The hug system reads instantly:
coherence, safety, openness,
distortion, suppression —
arriving as sensation, not thought.
Vibration is the real encounter.
Whether harmonious or challenging,
the heart responds honestly.
The heart is a live junction —
not only emotional,
but electrical and spatial.
Energy rises from below,
meets descending awareness from above.
The heart — a transformer —
completes a circuit when you touch another.
No clear borders of you or me.
A movement toward unity, not separation.
Insulation softens.
Unfiltered.
The heart is a threshold:
inside and outside,
self and other.
Opening not politely,
but physically.
Vibration moving through tissue.
Without words.
But love.
For those carrying trauma, it’s important to say this gently:
not every body is ready for touch, and that is okay.
Safety comes first. Choice matters. The body leads.
But when a hug is welcomed — when it is consensual, grounded, and present — it becomes more than comfort. It becomes information. Regulation. Truth without language.
As my time here draws to a close, I leave filled with inspiration and a renewed trust in humanity. Compassionate hearts do exist. Communities that live fully, generously, and joyfully are real.
Peace and blessings to you in the new year.
May you create a life that feels alive to your nervous system.
May every part of you be welcomed — whole, just as you are.
May this be an invitation to honour your own boundaries, rhythms, and capacity for closeness. Whether through a hug, a shared silence, or simply being with yourself — let connection arise where it feels natural, not forced.
Your body’s yes matters.
So does your no.
If this spoke to you, perhaps share it with someone who understands the language of the body — or someone you feel safe enough to explore it with. Connection doesn’t require explanation. Sometimes being witnessed is enough.
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